This is the unedited version of the column that appears in the COurier Mail, 1 June 2011:
You know parenting and society have reached a critical point when an early childhood education specialist claims that children’s playgrounds, the last bastion of kiddy fun, are ‘too safe’.
At an Early Childhood Conference in Melbourne this week, Prue Walsh also said that playground injuries were often a result of children being poorly co-ordinated because they didn’t know how to negotiate risks.
The expression ‘cotton wool kids’ has become a popular euphemism to describe this generation of kids, who are so mollycoddled by their p
arents, they have no resilience or ability to cope with obstacles or failure – in the playground and well beyond.
Afraid of their children becoming victims of everything from bullying to sunburn, kids are being denied access to their natural environment. Instead and, quite ironically, children are installed in the ‘safety’ of an artificial one – their homes, usually in front of a screen.
Termed ‘strawberries’ in Taiwan (because they’re tough on the outside but soft on the inside), contemporary kids are deprived of access to the type of play that children for centuries enjoyed, suffered and, most importantly, survived.
But what are the long-term consequences of this denial?
According to a range of experts, they’re pretty dire.
In his book, Last Child in the Woods, Richard Louv writes that the ‘indoor generation’ of children we’ve raised has created a ‘disconnection between childhood and nature.’ He calls it ‘nature-deficit disorder’ and equates it to a form of sensory deprivation.
In his book No Fear: Growing Up In A Risk-Averse Society, UK early childhood expert Tim Gill warns of over-protecting children.
Gill asserts that removing potential dangers deprives children of the ability to evaluate and react accordingly to risks. He cites playground rubber padding, a mandatory feature in most nations, as an example, stating that it may be less safe than the old-style hard surfaces.
This is partly because in understanding the hazards involved both children and parents were more vigilant.
In a backlash against ‘cotton wool kids’, the ‘slow-parenting’ movement has been established in the US and Canada.
Carl Honore, who wrote the book, Under Pressure: Putting the Child Back in Childhood, says he’s felt a sea-change in the last 18 months. From the opening of outdoor preschools in Canada or the British government telling schools they’ve gone too far in shutting down field trips because of minute injury risk, there’s a groundswell against being over-protective.
When Honore asks audiences about their strongest childhood memories, most of those over age 25 remember being outside and a lack of restriction, whereas those under 25 have indoor recollections that feature electronics.
The second annual ‘Take Our Children to the Park and Leave Them There Day’ was held in New York recently, organized by the founder of the ‘Free Range Kids’ movement, Lenore Skenazy. In 2008, she wrote about letting her then nine-year
-old son ride the subway alone, and scandalized a nation.
Her provocative actions were also a call to sanity.
We’ve never lived in safer times, and yet we’re the most apprehensive group of parents ever. We feed off the plethora of horror stories, anecdotal, media-driven and share them – about criminals lurking in all corners, every stranger being a danger, of the terror of cyberspace, and what can befall anyone who ignores these perils.
If our children do take a tumble, or, sadly, are seriously hurt, we seek to punish everyone by altering the landscape, setting ridiculous boundaries and rules, banning, or even suing for what is often an accident, not a deliberate attempt to sabotage childhood.
Gerard Jones, author of Killing Monsters: Why Children Need Fantasy, Super Heroes, and Make-Believe Violence, writes, ‘Adult anxieties about the effects of entertainment are sometimes the real causes of the very effects we fear most.’
There’s no doubt, parenting is a balancing act, but common sense should always tip the scales. Avoiding or changing playgrounds and outdoor play because of something that likely will never happen is often an hysterical overreaction that can cause more harm than good.
As Louv wistfully notes about his childhood experiences: ‘Those woods and fields shaped me; they were my Ritalin.’
Sun, grass, bruises, scrapes, dirt between the toes – now they’re highs every child should have.
So, so true, Karen. And so sad for the current generation. and maybe like most spirals it will turn around.
When I think of the wonderfully free childhood I had in far north Queensland, climbing giant fig trees, swinging from ropes like Tarzan and building cubby houses down by the creek, I feel so sad for these cotton-wool children.
Thank you for your insightful column.
I am a fan of the Free Range Kids website. Parents have to learn that protecting their children is only half the effort in raising them … the other half is learning to let them go. Last weekend, my youngest went go-carting and skateboarding. I coundn’t actually bring myself to watch, but I washed the muddy clothes and admired the bruises. Real fun means some sort of risk. And mess. Lots and lots of mess. Sometimes, I wonder if over-protection is another way of avoiding mess?
Thanks Sheryl. I look nostalgically back on very few aspects of my childhood, but one is the outdoor play and the fact that street lights (and mums’ around the neighbourhood calling) were our signal to go home. Your childhood sounds magic!
Funny you should say that Lynne. I just had an email from a grandparent who said something along those lines. He said that his daughter gets acid looks from other parents because she lets her kids get dirty. But perhaps it’s the horror of the thought of running a bath and putting on the washing machine LOL!
Great article Karen. I agree that kids are over protected to their detriment. And I will admit to being a bit over-protective myself with my five daughters. As I look back now I realsie that I did deny them some growth opportunities, as in stopped them from some risky behaviours. They did all get dirty when they played and all that stuff and they ran ferral at times but I was so paranoid something bad would happen that I would not let them do things such as ride a puch bike to school. This came from the fact that when my little nephew was 7 he was hit and killed while riding his bike. This triggered protector overload in me unfortunatley.
Geez, Jan… that’s awful :((( No wonder you were cagey around bikes… that’s so sad. 🙁 That’s different to irrational fears that many parents develop around what ‘might’ happen. I’m so sorry :((((
Thanks Karen it was nearly 25 years ago and yet it seems like last week, the after affects on my sisters family continue to this day, a brocken family I am sorry to say.
But I tried hard to not be a helicopter parent. I always picked the kids up from school as I was scared then the kids wanted to be driven everwhere. 🙁
They tell me my kids that I did hinder them and make them nervous about things. I am sorry I did that now. So a message to others, let your kids explore and be kids and don’t rescue them all the time. They do need to build resilience.
Thanks Karen 🙂
After growng up on a farm and now living in the city, it delights me to see my children jumping in puddles and getting dirty in the mud (of course I get frowned upon for allowing my kids to be ferral) but I must say I am protective about letting them go to the shop alone or staying home on thier own as much as they want to (6, 8, 10 yrs) at what age do you let them do this??
Hard to say, isn’t it Angela? I think parents know their own child best – you’re their ‘expert’ not a corporate suit or an ‘expert’ on TV… That woman who let her 9 year old ride the subway alone knew he’d manage, it was others who lay the boots into her. We’re so bloody judgmental instead of supportive when it comes to parenting, aren’t we? *gives a weak laugh* xxx